I'm a Jew

Okay, this is definitely not meant to offend any Jewish friends who may be reading.... I was talking last night with David about a particular part/practice of Christianity that I have always believed to be true and Biblical.....which he helped me to see was not so Biblical (in the New Testament at least). After talking, I realized that what I believed was part of the Old Covenant. It was Law and not grace. For some reason, I struggled and really clung to the "Law" that I thought to be true. David inadvertently compared me to the Jews of Jesus' day. They practiced what they knew to be the true way to worship and honor God. When Jesus came with grace, it was offensive. It was hard to change. Their hearts didn't rejoice because Jesus was fulfilling the Law. They mourned because they had to change. Granted, it was a change that was amazing and wonderful. They didn't see it like that. Last night, I did not see getting rid of my "Law" mindset as freeing. It was scary. I realized that in order to live by grace, you have to trust God infinitely more than if you live by the Law. You have to hear His voice much more personally. You have to be willing to give up control over what makes you righteous.

People have always asked me if I'm Jewish...I guess I have stereotypically Jewish features. Last night, I was a Jew. God speaks to me in such funny ways. If I wasn't so upset, I would have laughed.

O to the C to the D

Have you ever noticed how different people are OCD about different things? Examples: My dad counts the items he keeps in his pockets every time he gets up and is in public. (Pocket knife, money, silver dollar, etc.) My mom is obsessed with the security of our credit cards and with safety issues in general. David thinks that if you don't gargle with the nastiest version of Listerine (the orange/tan colored kind) that your mouth isn't very clean.

I know I have my share of OCD moments. They include but aren't limited to: keeping chapstick and lotion handy at all times, never getting on an airplane without a bottle of water, not touching anything--faucet, paper towel dispenser, door handle--after washing my hands in public, avoiding condiments on my sandwiches even if it means going hungry, cleaning the lint out of the lint trap in the dryer, and checking to make sure there aren't any bed bugs in my hotel rooms (this is a recent addition).

I know I should probably get over some of these things...but I haven't yet.

What are you OCD about?

Dreaming...

I think I used to dream more than I do now. I know that people say you dream every night whether you know it or not. I just used to know it more I guess. When I do dream, I have very vivid, memorable dreams.

I have two types of dreams--God dreams and random/nonsense dreams. When it is a God dream, I usually wake up immediately and know it was a God dream. The random dreams are a little fuzzier and always less memorable.

When I was little, I used to have really scary nightmares and go charging into my parents room to sleep with my mom. I would say a good percentage of those were probably about spiders.

Another weird thing about dreaming is that while you are dreaming, your body is physically paralyzed. It is something to do with that part of your sleep cycle. I have actually woken up a few times when my body didn't react quickly enough and I couldn't move. Really weird feeling.

Funny dream from the past: I dreamed that I woke up in the morning and wanted to eat some of the strawberry waffles my mom had bought. When I actually physically woke up that morning, I went downstairs to the freezer to get some of the strawberry waffles. There weren't any. I got mad at my sister because I thought she ate them all....turns out the waffles were only in my dream.

Leggo my eggo, Sara.

What are some of your funniest dreams?

Uninspired

I need some help with blog topics....what would you like to read about? If you request it, I will blog it...

Random Lara fact: I am on a kick of drinking iced chai lattes from Starbucks right now instead of coffee. Soooo tasty.

Random Lara update: I helped give the announcements yesterday at Remnant's worship experience. I actually had fun doing it...a new thing for me when speaking in front of people on a microphone.

The shine

(Let me preface this blog: I am not talking about my marriage...just thinking philosophically. David and I are in love and life is good.)

What do you do when the shine of something that was so wonderful and grand when it was new begins to wear off? What do you do when you begin to see imperfections in something that used to appear perfect? What do you do when something you were so sure about seems uncertain? Disappointment seems to creep in, but how do you prevent it? I know that some of my spiritual readers will tell me that I should only put my hope in God and not the things of this world. I understand that. Can you honestly say that you don't ever hope for/in a person, plan, or idea? I doubt it.

I have high expectations for myself. I often transfer those high hopes and expectations to outside things, people, etc. And, I am often let down.

God is my constant joy and strength. I just wish sometimes that situations were different, people were different, life was different.

Age

So much of America's culture is focused on youth and staying young....right now, looking young is actually a hard position for me. On the job, I regularly meet with Superintendents of school districts and other people who have been working in education for 20+ years. And I look young to them...very young. I realize that I look young and have to compensate with my level of professionalism and level of confidence.

I joked with one of my co-workers that I need a aging make up kit that I can pull out before important work meetings. Add some wrinkles...add some gray hair and voila! My outside will match my job....

On the other hand, I think I'd rather just impress them and let them think what they want about my age. Anyone else have unique challenges at work?