Carrying Burdens

I listened to a podcast from Elevation Church (www.elevationchurch.org) yesterday, and one verse from the message really stuck out. The Bible says to cast all of our cares on Him because He cares for us. However in reality, most of us don't give Jesus our cares very effectively. We know the verse but just have trouble actually doing what it says. Why is that? Do we think that God doesn't really care enough to fix it? Do we think He isn't able? Do we think He doesn't hear? Maybe it is a combination of all of those things. Instead of just resting in Him, we continue to haul all of our burdens around like we're carrying 400 lb tumors. Worry, stress, and anxiety are all simply cancerous in spiritual terms. They drain away our focus, our joy, and our victory in Christ. Who would want to be a Christian like me when I don't look any better off than they are?

My challenge this week is to REALLY cast my cares on Jesus knowing assuredly that He cares for me....and then not pick up those cares anymore no matter how the situation looks.

No Mas

Well friends, I must admit. Fasting has not been my strong point....ever. Especially, now. I just don't really enjoy it. Does anyone really enjoy fasting? Well, they must be much more spiritual than me. Since being out here in CA, Pastor Mark has really helped our team with understanding about why we do spiritual disciplines like fasting. It is to focus on Jesus. I think a lot of the fasts I've done in the past have been really motivated by other things or totally unfocused altogether.

So lately, I have been eating way too much of my favorite dessert...ice cream. I am feeling the need to give it up for a while which seems inconvenient because it is just starting to get really hot here. Beginning tomorrow (I have about 1/2 pint of Ben & Jerry's in the freezer right now that must be polished off today), I'm saying no mas to ice cream and mas to Jesus. (Mas=more for all of you English speakers.) Pray for me....in my mind, this doesn't sound fun, but my spirit says "Let's do this."

Favorite ice cream? Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby. It is oh so delightful. What is yours?

Retirement

(Disclaimer: I really do love my job. It is a blessing for which I am very thankful. I won't be leaving it any time soon.)

I told David that after he gets a job as a police officer I am going to retire. He laughed at me. I wasn't joking. Maybe it's just me, but not working sounds like more fun than working. It would be incredible how clean my house would stay and how great the meals I could cook would be. Not to mention that I would get to do some killer workouts during the day when I have a lot of energy. Hmmm...yes, retirement is the only option. I've always thought that we do it backwards. You shouldn't have to work until you are 50 years old. We should all go out and live it up when we are young. Climb mountains, see the world, stay up late. Then when we get older, we go to work. Sounds better to me, but maybe I'll see things differently when I'm 50 :)

Secrets

I am currently entrusted with a couple of secrets from various people. I'm not talking gossip-type secrets just personal things that shouldn't be made public. What is it about knowing a secret that makes you feel good? I think it is the intimacy that someone else has told you something that is close to their heart. It is also special because you were chosen to keep that information out of everyone else that could have known it.

As much as I like knowing secrets, I hate it when someone keeps a secret from me. I just ask and ask until I get a hint or clue. Usually, this happens when someone is trying to surprise me with something. As much as I love being surprised, I don't like waiting for it. I think waiting for David to propose was the biggest challenge.

Little kids are hilarious when they know a secret because it never stays a secret for long. They don't have the filter that prevents them from talking about something even though they have been told to not talk about it. I'm still a child in this way. The better the secret, the more I want to tell it. I have learned a little self control though, so your secrets are safe with me.

Are you good at keeping secrets? If you aren't, post one in my comments! :)

Personal Space

So, I have had various experiences with a lot of different ethnicities that do the thing where they kiss on both cheeks as a greeting. I just cannot get used to it. It is always awkward and slightly embarrassing for me. I think I have a fear deep down that I'm going to miss and somehow end up kissing them on the lips. Americans shake hands. If you really know someone, it's okay to hug. Kissing is reserved for only your closest family. The bigger issue behind this kissing thing is personal space. Personal space is a value that is American to the core. Most other countries do not have this concept. One of my room mates during college had some friends from Sweden visit the U.S. for the first time. When we asked them what was different about the U.S., they said that "everything is bigger." At first I thought they were making a jab at our obesity rate, but when I followed up and asked what they meant, they said: Streets are bigger, curbs are higher, cars are bigger. (They politely didn't mention the huge portions we serve at restaurants.)

We like things big because we like our own space. Our children have their own bedrooms or at least their own beds. The bigger the house you can afford, the better regardless of whether you actually use the space. When you go to a movie, you only sit next to someone if there is no other option. Otherwise, you politely place a seat of border space in between yourself and any stranger. I have a thing where I don't like anyone to breathe in my space. I can't sleep face to face in close proximity with anyone. It feels like the air has already been used. I blame American culture for my weirdness. (Sometimes David will torture me by pinning my arms and just breathing out near my face....makes me crazy.) People hate flying on planes because you only have a tiny seat's worth of space. How else have you seen our American value of personal space manifest itself?

I want...

I know this is going to sound very selfish/western/superficial, but I don't care. I'm saying it anyway. I want some new clothes. Since moving to CA, we have been on a really tight budget. This means I have bought like 3 new articles of clothing in about a year. Right now, we are working on getting the Benz fixed, paying for a house and ALL of the costs associated with that, and putting David through the Police Academy. AKA: Our budget is tighter than ever.

All of that being said, I am really tired of everything I have to wear. I am tired of feeling out of style or style-less because I am not updating my wardrobe. I resort to wearing t-shirts most of the time because I just don't feel like putting on any of my "nice" clothes. This is probably only compounding my problem. Working from home does not help my sense of feeling bad about clothes. Most days, I work in a t-shirt and soccer shorts or something comparable. On the bad days, I wear my pj's until mid-afternoon. Even though it is great to have the flexibility of not being forced to dress up every day, it is nice to feel like you look nice. Working from home does not give me much motivation, since no one sees me.

I have given up even looking at new clothes because I know it just isn't an option. Right now, that would be a waste of money when there are so many necessary bills. I don't look at anything when I'm in the mall. I am a great bargain shopper, but my talents can't be used. It is very sad.

I think I need to find a rich friend who wants to buy me presents. Anyone know someone like that? LOL....well, maybe I'll just be patient and know that this is only a season. I am not in need of anything. That is something to be thankful for....but I really do want some new clothes.

Serious slacker

Alright all of my blog friends, I apologize. I have been a serious slacker. I know. Life has been CRAZY busy in the last month.

Here are a few updates:

Remnant--is amazing. God is adding to us every Sunday. This past Sunday was the highest attendance we have ever had (excluding our launch and Easter). We have a team of people who are committed and there every week now. That is a huge blessing because for the first few months I would hold my breath from about 9:45am-10:15am wondering who might show up. We are literally seeing lives change in ways that I have never seen in my past church experiences. We have a group of homeless people who show up weekly. After church last Sunday, one of them came up to Pastor Mark and showed Pastor his forearms. He said with a huge smile on his face, "I've been clean for 2 weeks!" We also have a man who comes every week with his wife who was the biggest meth dealer in our city. I know these seem like the dramatic cases, but it is really what God is doing! He is entrusting us with people that need real life change. He has brought us other people who were coasting in their relationships with God and are now completely sold out for Jesus. I could go on and on.....oh, one more thing. We are in a series called Cheers right now. It is all about communion. Last Sunday, we took communion for the first time as a church, and it was like you've never seen communion before. We all had shot glasses that say Remnant Church on them, and it was a huge celebration! No somber, sad communion. I encourage you to listen to the podcast at http://www.remnantloves.me/ in order to really understand what I mean.

David--getting ready to go into the Police Academy. He passed his physical tests and was accepted! This is so exciting because it is really what is in his heart to do. I am so proud of him. He has been working really hard and overtime right now to save up for the time he will be in the Academy. He is just an amazing leader.

House--in contract! We are (hopefully) in the final stages of getting our house. The picture posted with this is where we will live if everything goes well. One thing I love is that it has a huge yard. In CA, almost no one has a big yard. A lot of houses have no yard at all. I grew up with an enormous yard and a wooded lot next door. So, I can't imagine not having some space. I think we are going to have an amazing testimony when this is all said and done, but I'll save that for a later blog...I have to give you SOMETHING to come back for in the future.

Let me know what you have been doing!